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Lesson 12

Lesson 12: Love Shouldn’t Hurt

Objectives

  • To  teach  pupils  about  the  situations  in  which  harassment  and  abuse  may  occur,  to  explore some of the myths people have regarding the pressures on them to have sex and to teach students skills for coping with difficult situations. 
  • The presentation advocates for young people to prevent and avoid harassment and abuse and not to be a perpetrator of harassment, abuse or violence. 
  • Pupils agree that sex should either be voluntary or should not take place at all
  • Pupils learn some ways to avoid the dangers of abuse 
  • Pupils explore some myths   
  • Pupils feel sympathy for victims of sexual abuse 
  • Describe what unwanted sex, sexual harassment, sexual abuse and rape is, as well as their consequences and state that sexual harassment and abuse are a crime 
  • Explain that girls or women generally are, but boys and men also can be, victims of sexual harassment and abuse 
  • List some features of someone who could possibly force you to have sex, some risky situations and three signs of a situation that could become risky 
  • Explain that most rapists are usually not strangers but people known to the victim 
  •  List three risky situations and three defense tips to escape risky situations 
  • Explain that accepting gifts, money and services from someone and using alcohol or drugs are co-factors     involved in sexual abuse and rape
  • correct myths concerning rape, emphasizing that victims are never to blame
  • List three ways that can help them to avoid sexual abuse 
  • Explain what  to  do  if  someone  has  been  harassed,  abused  or  raped  and  where  someone  who  has  been harassed, abused or raped, can find help
  • Describe three ways in which a sexual partner can pressurize them into having sex and list three tactics of people who sexually abuse young people
  • Show respect for the physical and mental integrity of themselves and other people;
  • Show they are convinced that someone who loves them would never pressurize them into doing something they do not want or that is wrong for them, including giving or expecting gifts in exchange for sex;
  • Show they are convinced that a victim of sexual harassment or abuse is never to blame;
  • Show  they  are  convinced  of  the  need  for  support  and  help  if  someone  has  been  harassed,  abused  or  raped; Trust their own judgment and intuition in case of a risky situation;
  • Show empathy with people who have been abused or violated.
  • Provide a scenario for finding support in the case of harassment, abuse and rape;
  • Provide a scenario for communicating their limits in the matter of sexuality to someone they are dating; Explain step by step how to refuse someone who is pressurizing them into having sex;
  • Provide a scenario for what to do when they find themselves in a risky situation;  Demonstrate three ways of defending and protecting themselves physically when in a rape situation.
  • Design and creative skills 
  • Express their own opinion
  •  Write an attractive, powerful story on paper Use and include relevant photos or pictures on paper Lesson outline 

Introduction

This lesson deals with a difficult and sensitive issue: sexual harassment and abuse. It is a difficult issue because forced sex occurs in many ways that may be very complex. It is sensitive because many girls and also boys have  had  similar  bad  experiences.  We will  be  touching  on  subjects  that  pupils  might  find  very  hard  to discuss. 

Learning Resources

Teaching Methodologies

In this lesson the teachers and learners will use different active learning methods.

For examples:

  • Method 1
  • Method2
  • Method3
  • Method4

Delivery of this lesson will be done with minimum requirement that discussed in the following steps.

Delivery Method

1.Reflect

Ask a few pupils to tell something about their reflection activities from the previous lesson. 

Warm up:

Don’t stand so close to me (5 mins)

Aim

  • Pupils get a sense of their personal space and when it is being violated by proximity. 

How

Simple exercise in which students stand alone in the space available and draw an imaginary circle around themselves. Students take turns getting increasingly closer to one another and experiencing when this is too close and when it feels OK 

2. Presentation: Love shouldn’t Hurt (30 mins)

Aim

  •  To give the pupils information and attitudes about sexual abuse 

How 

 The students read the presentation. The students should address some discussion points included in the presentation together before continuing. 

The presentation covers the following topics:

  • What is forced sex?
  • When does forced sex occur?;
  • By whom?; boyfriends and girlfriends; adults, sugar daddies;
  • The difference between harassment, abuse and rape;
  • abusers’ tactics;
  • how to avoid abuse; clear dating code;
  • how to say NO;
  • physical tips for dangerous situations;
  • myths about rape;
  • what to do in the case of rape; effects on the rape victim. 

The presentation advocates for young people to prevent and avoid harassment and abuse and not to be a perpetrator of abuse or violence. Discuss the main points of the presentation with the pupils. Be alert to victims of sexual harassment and abuse and offer them support if needed. 

Refusal skills and protection skills (20 mins)

 Aim

  • Pupils practice refusal skills: how to say ‘NO’ 

 How

Step1: Pupils remind themselves of the refusal skills (saying NO) from the presentation in their pupils book.

Step 2:  In pairs, pupils practice refusal skills with each other. Each pair can roleplay a boy and a girl on a date, one  of  them  pressurizing  the  other  into  sex.  This  may  involve  either  the  boy  or  the  girl  being  the  one  who   pressurizes. Each pupil should practice saying NO. 

Step 3:   A few volunteer pupils can perform their refusal skills before the group. Ask the group to say if these are convincing and why or why not. This will help pupils to clarify how to say NO well. 

Step 4:  Pupils look at the list of techniques how to escape if they find themselves in a dangerous situation.

My opinion! (30 mins)

Aim

  • For pupils to realize the weight of the subject they are dealing with by formulating some of their thoughts on the subject 

How

All pupils write down a very short story or an opinion on how they feel about sexual harassment and abuse. They write down what they have learned, what they think is the main point of the issue and what they think can be done about it. Stories or opinions should be about one half of an A4 page. Papers can be used in the exhibition in lesson 14. 

Conclusion and homework (5 mins) 

 Round  off  the  lesson,  reminding  pupils  that  sexual  abuse  and  sexual  harassment  are serious  issues  that can affect all of us severely. Advise students that, if they know someone who is experiencing or has experienced harassment, to advise him/her to look for help. 

 Homework  

Give pupils the assignment to write down in their notebooks when and how they say NO in different situations over the next few days until the next lesson. 

 Refusal Skills – How to say NO

 If someone is pressurizing you, it is very important that you are able to say NO in a clear and strong way.  These are the four steps in saying NO. Say NO quietly and clearly with appropriate non-verbal language.  If your NO is not accepted, repeat you refusal in a strong and loud tone of voice: don’t leave any doubt that you mean NO when you say NO,   look your partner straight in the eye,  do not smile or look away shyly,  do not give your partner the impression that you need to be convinced or coaxed, If your NO is still not being accepted, leave the situation immediately If this person refuses to allow you to leave, scream or use force 

Physical tips for dangerous situations  

  • If rape is common in your area, carry a mixture of sand and pepper to throw into your attacker’s eyes 
  • Yell and scream for help loudly and continuously 
  • Use your  fingers  and  fingernails. 
  • Stab  the  offender  as  hard  as  you  can  into  his/her  eyes.
  •  Do  not  worry about hurting him/her: he/she means to hurt you!
  • Use your knee to give a hard kick in the attacker’s private parts.
  • If you kick hard enough, this will hurt him/her a lot, causing him/her to double up with pain
  •  If the person is on top of you, holding you face-down to the ground, use your heel to kick him/her into the  bones of the lower back, just at the top of the buttocks 
  • If you are being overpowered, relax and try to fool the attacker into carelessness.
  •  Then stab the eyes or hit  the groin.
  • Run away when the rapist pauses due to pain 

Handouts

Assessment

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Quiz for Lesson 12

Quiz for Lesson 12

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10.1. Having sex should either be voluntary or should not take place at all

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10.2. Pupils learn some ways to avoid the dangers of abuse 

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10.3. Pupils feel sympathy for victims of sexual abuse 

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10.4. We always show respect for the physical and mental integrity of our sisters and other people.

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10.5. Victim of sexual harassment or abuse is never to blame

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10.6. Pupils never trust their own judgment and intuition in case of a risky situation.

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10.7. Unwanted sex, sexual harassment, sexual abuse, and rape is, as well as their consequences and state that sexual harassment and abuse are not a crime 

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10.8. No matter if a sexual partner can pressurize them into having sex.

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10.9. Accepting gifts, money, and services from someone and using alcohol or drugs are co-factors involved in sexual abuse and rape.

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10.10. Show empathy with people who have been abused or violated is always recommended.

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10.11. How to refuse someone who is pressurizing you into having sex; Describe a short answer.

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References

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